10.)
Telephones still exist; if you really gave a crap about people you were “connecting” with you would pick up a phone.

9.)
No one cares what you had for breakfast or when you went to sleep just do you business and shut up about it.  Where and when did people’s private lives turn into their social lives? 

Hey I just got back from taking a dump, now I’m going to masturbate, be back in about 5 minutes.

8.)
Farms are for people how like to eat and harvest crops to feed us.  They are not for our computers to consume energy to display us some turd looking graphics and a number, which basically tells you how much more of a douche you are then your friends. 
Go start a garden or something and send us all a picture about it.

7.)
Don’t you work? If you do why are you posting at 10am and 2pm in the afternoon?  I think you get paid to be at a job for a reason and I’m sure it is not for Facebook.  Ah how the economy doesn’t thrive on your ignorance.

6.)
You friend count is not a reflection of your popular count.  The old fashioned looks, money, and job are still the norm… so go get some education and plastic surgery you freakin’ uggo.

(more…)

The Jaded M-Ball is returning in January, hope you didn’t forget about us.  We are devoted but like any human being on this earth shit comes up, home buying moving from New Jersey blah blah blah.  The main factor being the legal aspects of The Jaded MBall, which come January, will be in full affect.

So to those who made us popular please return for we have only just begun to provide the news as we see it.  We r here to stay and here to make celebs and douches pay.  The Jaded MBall your source for humanistic opinions on bullshit “famous”, some normal, but mostly drugged up ass, people.

Follow us down the rabbit hole or live in your false “reality”.

Britney Spears discusses her past few years of craziness in a new documentary for MTV titled, “Britney: For The Record”.  She states:

“I sit there and I look back and I’m like, ‘I’m a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?”

“I’ve been through a lot in the past two or three years, and there’s a lot that people don’t know,”

“Sometimes it can get lonely ’cause you don’t open the gate. I’m stuck in this place, and I just cope every day.”

She’s right there is a lot we don’t know, like just how much money she spends on late night binges and sex parties.  I want to get more in-depth into that area of her craziness, just sounds more fun…but w/e I guess we’ll have to settle for the G rated Britney version.  The documentary will air on November 30th.

Hugh Hefner has found his new girlfriends and they come equip with criminal records.  These twin sisters Karissa and Kristina Shannon supposedly don’t take any shit and are now on probation for beating some ass.  E! News states:

The sisters were arrested in the early morning hours of Jan. 10 and booked on suspicion of felony aggravated battery, per arrest reports obtained by E! News. They were released from custody after posting $10,000 bonds and were later given probation and ordered to pay restitution for the incident, the details of which have not been determined just yet.
Prior to that run-in with the law, Karissa Shannon was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor battery last November.

Now that’s not my exact choice for ladies on my side; I don’t want my women to kick my ass for not washing the dishes or something, and being as old as he is he’d break a hip on contact.

Image:Splashnews

Hustler is cashing in on VP candidate Sarah Palins pop culture popularity and decided to shoot a porno in her honor, appropriately titling it “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin”.

In Who’s Nailin’ Paylin Sarah Palin is played by porn star Lisa Ann; the word ‘played’ is a bit exaggerated, I’m sure the “actress” has one or two lines before she busts out the boobs and gets railed by some log.

One thing is for sure though this woman sure has the juggs, I’m sure Sarah is going to be proud to be referenced to such a spoof.

Images: SplashNews

Lol this is pretty nasty, is it a man, is it a woman, who knows. Looks as if god chose to make it both as some sort of joke or something.  Well anyway enjoy Serena’s hulking build and big breasts…does it make you gay or not, thats yet to be told as well.

Images:Splashnews

Jaime Lynn Spears is becoming her sister more and more everyday; after just recently giving birth to her daughter Maddie she is pregnant again…little tramp. A family member states to The Enquirer:

“Jamie Lynn’s mom is furious about the pregnancy,” the family member said. “And she’s livid the news leaked out, especially during her book tour…Lynne and Jamie Lynn have been arguing nonstop by phone.”

Well that’s yet another underage pregnancy for Jaime Lynn, sucks to be her. Sorry Lynne Spears but your chance to be famous was interrupted by your children that you are supposed to be raising.

Image:INFdaily

Lisa Marie Presley popped out a couple of daughters on Friday. Lisa’s husband Michael Lockwood was there to witness the whole vagina busting fleet. The Star states:

“Lisa Marie is mom to four now! She’s feeling good, a little tired too,” a family friend reveals. “She is so happy and Michael is ecstatic. He’s wanted to be a dad for so long. This is his dream come true…. The babies are healthy and beautiful. Ben was seen pushing them down the hall in their cart and cooing to them.”

Michael was also seen huddled in the corner of the hospital shortly after witnessing the births. Shortly there after he was seen running down the halls screaming in terror “There is heads coming out of my wife’s vagina!” with his underwear on his head.

Okay Britney, aside from the weird wigs that remind me of your baldness and crazy times this video is actually pretty hot. Overall I think she does a good job at reclaiming her sexyness and place in the music industry. I mean from Britney being, and looking, like a hippo in 2007 to getting nude in the opening scenes of this video and actually looking hot, I just have to give her some credit.

The video itself is directed by Joseph Kahn who also directed her Stronger and Toxic video’s which possibly explains why she looks hot again.

Well that ends my respect moment for Britney, back to spoiled handed everything bitch Britney now that she’s hot again.

Melanie Brown aka Scary Spice throws on some of her lingerie from her Ultimo Autumn/Winter 08 collection and ends up looking pretty scary. If her face wasn’t made of butter she might almost be sexy. I mean couldn’t she have been a little less self centered and hired an actual model, then we could perhaps she what her product looks like on normal people.