Britney Spears discusses her past few years of craziness in a new documentary for MTV titled, “Britney: For The Record”.  She states:

“I sit there and I look back and I’m like, ‘I’m a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?”

“I’ve been through a lot in the past two or three years, and there’s a lot that people don’t know,”

“Sometimes it can get lonely ’cause you don’t open the gate. I’m stuck in this place, and I just cope every day.”

She’s right there is a lot we don’t know, like just how much money she spends on late night binges and sex parties.  I want to get more in-depth into that area of her craziness, just sounds more fun…but w/e I guess we’ll have to settle for the G rated Britney version.  The documentary will air on November 30th.

Kim and her big ass won’t be returning to dancing with the stars; someone on the ABC network has a brain.  E! News states:

As it turns out, no one will be returning to fill Misty’s prematurely empty dancing shoes, vacated this week after the beach-volleyball champ became the first contestant to have to withdraw from Dancing With the Stars midseason due to injury. Instead, no elimination occurred in light of Misty’s injury and this week’s scores and votes will be added to next week’s totals.

Sorry peeps no more of Kim shaking her ass as a dance routine.  You’ll just have to settle for a soft core porn which has much similar moves as she displayed on the dance floor.

Images: Getty

ABC says that Misty’s condition will be addressed on the show,” and Kim is not officially confirming that she is back in if Misty is out, but when contacted by E! News, Kardashian says: “If they ask me to, I’m available. I’m back home tomorrow. We’ll see!”

Good for her, she gets her ugly mug back on TV and we get to see her get some exercise.

Kim Kardashian continues her effort to be effortless in everything she does, or in short a useless broad. Kim got her big fat fake ass the boot from “Dancing with the Stars”, now its back to “reality” TV which is basically sitting on her fat ass, getting pampered with pops money and eating big macs…oh I forgot getting pounded on video and selling it.

Anyway Kim and her partner, Mark Ballas were eliminated Tuesday after receiving 17 out of a possible 30 from judges for dancing like shit. Kim stated:

“Today, five years ago, my father passed away, and I just know he’s really happy and watching over me, and I made him proud,” Kardashian, daughter of late attorney Robert Kardashian and Kris Jenner, said after her dismissal.

If making your dad proud means standing around and lifting your leg once or twice while your partner dances circles around you then I’m sure he’s extensively proud of your ass…way to go bitch.

Images: Splash News

Check out Kim Kardashians performance on Dancing with the Stars last night. It wasn’t anything special as opposed to some of the other stars that have been on this show but it wasn’t all that bad for a useless, buttock enhanced, sex tape whore either. Oh and her sister Kourtney Kardashian is utilizing her useless self as well to promote her sister; vote if you must…just not for her.

Check out this vid, Lynne Spears on the Today Show in an interview about her book “Through the Storm”.

“It was never a parenting book, it never started out that way. I wanted to be in the drivers seat, I wanted people to see my family as we really are,”
“I have sat for hours thinking and thinking about what’s happened, and I think it has been a whirlwind. It’s been a wild ride for everybody.”

It’s a good thing she covered her ass and said it wasn’t a parenting book…cause damn.

Lynne Spears also states how she dealt with Jaime Lynns pregnancy

“She handed me this note and told me to go in my room and read it. The note said she was pregnant and everything was gonna be OK and she and Casey were gonna raise this baby. I thought it was a joke.”
“As a mother, don’t we always blame ourselves…I took a lot of the blame, I took all the blame,”

Yup definitely a good thing its not a parenting book.

Total Request Live has been on a losing streak for a while, therefore MTV figures now is as good a time as ever to shut this shit off for a while. The executive producer of the show, Dave Sirulnick, states:

“We want to close this era of TRL in a big celebratory way, and 10 is a great number,” Sirulnick said.
“And 10 is the number that TRL counted down every single day for 10 years, and we hit this 10th (anniversary) and we thought, `You know what? This feels like the right time and let’s celebrate it and let’s reward it.’”

“Let’s let it have a little bit of a rest for a minute. Let it catch its breath! Been working hard — for 10 years,”.

Lets face it TRL was only cool for about 2 years when music was more inventive and had a reason to be displayed on television. The era now is rap, and rap doesn’t flow well on tv, with all the bleep this, bleep that, and the endless amounts of big booty bitches videos. It just gets old and after about 2 minutes no one wants to watch that shit. So peace out TRL…you suck for now; come back when rap is dead. Eminem adds some input on the situation:

“I’m going to miss TRL. … Where else will I be able to start feuds, defend my honor vigorously and act like an angry teenager on national TV? Oh wait … The VMAs!”

No more live from New York for Amy Poehler.  In November Amy will be leaving the show to have her first child, she states on the matter:

“It’s gonna be really hard — Boyz II Men hard — to say goodbye to yesterday,”

“‘SNL’ was dangerous, late-night, last-minute and star-studded, but like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down.”

The L.A. Times reports upon her return she’ll be staring in her own NBC series from the producers of The Office.

Check out last weeks’ skit with Tina Fey playing an impersonation of Republican VP Sarah Palin.

Image: Splash News

Britney Spears was a calm boring woman all night at this years vma’s, I mean she was flat out boring like the rest of the show.  Here is her opening statement, I mean it really opened the show with a bang…you could just feel the excitement:

“Thank you so much. Thank you for all the love. I’m here tonight to celebrate a very important birthday, the 25th anniversary of the VMAs. This is the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards and it starts right now.”

Whoa! Shit! Hold on to your pants man cause her statement I’m sure blew you out of the water with excitement.  Okay so after this dramatic opening MTV let Britney win 3 awards, surefully hoping that she would generate some excitement and get people to give a crap about these awards next year…well it didn’t work.  Overall this shit was boring and Ritalin drugged Britney couldn’t save MTV’s sorry ass on this sinking boat.

Image: Splash News

So this years VMA’s sucked my butthole, nothing remotely interesting happened, the highlight of the night was Russell Brand making lame jokes about the Jonas Brothers and their virginity, wow great time right?

No lesbian kisses, rappers singing with gay guys, Michael Jackson; just a dumb ass former sex addicted with a dumb ass hair cut…that just screams entertainment to me.

Okay so anyway on to this “feud” (its not a feud just a few sentences that became the highlight of the night because well the night sucked), Brand makes for few jokes about the Jonas Brother premarital celibacy and the fact that they wear purity rings which they claim to be a vow not to have premarital sex. After his lame jokes and the night progressed Jordin Sparks spoke up about the comments while presenting an award stating:

“I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?”

Yeah hooray for her and a cry for attention that semi worked (I’m talking about it so I guess it sorta worked). Anyway Brand sorta said sorry and turned it into a lame joke to avoid being a kiss up stating:

“I feel a bit bad that I kept talking about their vows to chastity and I’d like to take this opportunity to say no one ever have sex again. It’s a mad idea. What a way to spend an evening.”

Well that’s it the 2008 VMA’s oh how crazy and exciting it was…

Image: AP