Hugh Hefner has found his new girlfriends and they come equip with criminal records.  These twin sisters Karissa and Kristina Shannon supposedly don’t take any shit and are now on probation for beating some ass.  E! News states:

The sisters were arrested in the early morning hours of Jan. 10 and booked on suspicion of felony aggravated battery, per arrest reports obtained by E! News. They were released from custody after posting $10,000 bonds and were later given probation and ordered to pay restitution for the incident, the details of which have not been determined just yet.
Prior to that run-in with the law, Karissa Shannon was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor battery last November.

Now that’s not my exact choice for ladies on my side; I don’t want my women to kick my ass for not washing the dishes or something, and being as old as he is he’d break a hip on contact.

Image:Splashnews

Holly Madison doesn’t like old wrinkly rich guys anymore and told TMZ yesterday that what we have heard about the two’s relationship is correct. Holly stated to a TMZ cameraman after he asked to enter the mansion for a Halloween party:

“I have no pull anymore. Hef and I aren’t together.”

Well now that it is confirmed; expect to see her back at her old job in a strip club near you kissing up on douche bags for their cash. Oh that was a hit at Criss Angel…my bad you Mind Geek.

Is Holly Madison dating Criss Angel?  Hugh Hefner says no, but he isn’t denying that she’s eventually going to get bored for his old ass. Hugh states to Us Magazine:

“She is still my girlfriend,”
“Now will that last? I don’t think anything lasts forever.
“I love her very much, but you know, she wants very much to get married and have children. That isn’t very much in the cards for me,” he adds. “So there has to be a certain reality there. And I’m sure the time will come when she’ll be dating others. That’s part of the transition.”

So basically Hugh got his kicks out of Holly’s “assets” and could care less what she does at this point as long as he doesn’t have to do any sort of commitment.  Sounds like a plan old man.

With Kendra Wilinson getting the boot out of the mansion and getting her own reality television show Hugh Hefner decides to talk reality, television that is. Hugh Hefner tells E! Online:

“I think all three girls are likely to get spinoffs. I think they will be interconnected to the main show, and we will all appear on both.”

Hugh talks Girls Next Door “It’s amazing. We’re about to launch season five,” “We thought it would be a one-season wonder.”

The next season of GND will premiere on October 5th so watch and wish, cause your life will never be as cool as Hugh’s. The most action packed part of your day will be when the nurse wipes and cleans your ass because you couldn’t control your bowels. Ah well that’s life, sucks don’t it.

Images: Splash News

Kendra Wilkinson is leaving the Mansion, although I doubt she is choosing to leave, its more like “Kendra Wilkinson is getting a big boot in the ass from Hugh Hefner.”
Most likely this is due to her being to old, to ugly, to annoying, or being to much of a bitch. Hey don’t feel sorry for her though she is getting her only reality show…yay… where we get to hear more of her annoying ass laugh. As insider states:

Kendra Wilkinson has been offered her own reality show about starting her life over again when she moves out of the Playboy Mansion,… Hugh Hefner knows her time is coming.

Guess its finally time for her to fulfill that dream of being a hooker.

Leo DiCaprio – He is an OK actor, but I really don’t see him as the Hefner type.

Tom Cruise – ARE YOU CRAZY?  HEF, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT TO BE PLAYED BY A SCIENTOLOGY-LOVING, PSYCHO MANIAC!!!  If he is chosen, I definately won’t be going to see that movie.

Robert Downey Jr. - Absolutely the best choice out of the 3.  After seeing him rock the screen in ‘Iron Man’, I could see that he has that ‘ladies man’ personality… Just like Hef.

What do you think?  Who would play Hugh Hefner the best?